A few days ago one of my best friends sends me a twitter link that once clicked, it gets you straight to the #whyIstayed hashtag. As you might guess, this hashtag highlights the real reasons women stay in abusive relationships. Before showing you some of the tweets that really broke my heart, I want to emphasize something very important about all this domestic violence bullshit.
First of all, it can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Noticing and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, reach out. There is help available.
Women don’t have to live in fear:
In the US: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis centers.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed you at first
Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse,occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you and try to hurt you.
Don’t be ashamed of your story, It will inspire others
When people talk about domestic violence, they are often referring to the physical abuse of a spouse or intimate partner. Physical abuse is the use of physical force against someone in a way that injures or endangers that person. Physical assault or battering is a crime, whether it occurs inside or outside of the family and the range of punishment for a conviction is one day up to a year in a county or parish jail. The police have the power and authority to protect you from physical attack.
Please, be aware that any situation in which you are forced to participate in unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity is sexual abuse. Forced sex, even by a spouse or intimate partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is an act of aggression and violence. Furthermore, people whose partners abuse them physically and sexually are at a higher risk of being seriously injured or killed.
A house where a woman is unsafe is not a home
When people think of domestic abuse, they often picture battered women who have been physically assaulted. But not all abusive relationships involve violence. Just because you’re not battered and bruised doesn’t mean you’re not being abused. Many men and women suffer from emotional abuse, which is no less destructive. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often minimized or overlooked—even by the person being abused.
Maybe your partner doesn’t hit you, but he calls you fat and ugly each time he gets upset. Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling behavior also fall under emotional abuse.You may think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave you with scars. The scars of emotional abuse are very real, though, and they run deep. In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse—sometimes even more so.
Keep this in mind! Abusers are very good at controlling and manipulating their victims. People who have been emotionally abused or battered are depressed, drained, scared, ashamed, and confused. They need help to get out, yet they’ve often been isolated from their family and friends. If you don’t believe me, here are some of the #WhyIstayed tweets that women all over the world posted in a desperate attempt to tell their stories:
After you read all this, don’t let “I miss you” trick you. Don’t let “I am sorry” make you think to walk back into that party. The longer you dance with the devil, the longer you remain in hell. Just don’t sell yourself short by settling for what they have to offer. You owe so much better to yourself. Yes, you may be a little bruised, slightly broken and permanently scarred but you’re still here, aren’t you? And I think it’s time for you to be happy again because there is a man out there searching for everything you’re giving to a man who isn’t man enough to appreciate.
You are unstoppable after you realize you deserve better